An other successful UK BizTalk User Group meeting

The second meeting of the UK BizTalk User Group took place in London on February 6th. We had talks on Using BAM for realtime aggregation and RFID. Many thanks to Ben Goeltz and Simon Holloway for those talks. The next meeting date has yet to be announced but should be sometime in May (as long as we can find a venue as the Microsoft office in Great Poultney Street, where we have run both of the meetings so far, is closing down). I'll post an update when I have got more concrete details for date and venue.

| Comments [1590] | #biztalk

02/12/2007 3:25 PM

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We are currently building the website. For the time being if you email me your details to the email address above I'll add you to the mailing list which is how we're currently keeping people informed.

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08/02/2007 3:33 PM

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08/02/2007 4:00 PM

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08/02/2007 4:27 PM

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08/02/2007 4:53 PM

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08/02/2007 5:22 PM

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08/03/2007 12:27 PM

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08/03/2007 12:30 PM

[url=http://fergie-glamorous.pinkland.biz/index.html] fergie glamorous [/url] [url=http://kay-parker.pinkland.biz/index.html] kay parker [/url] [url=http://mary-carey.pinkland.biz/index.html] mary carey [/url] [url=http://crazy-train.pinkland.biz/index.html] crazy train [/url] [url=http://shyla-stylez.pinkland.biz/index.html] shyla stylez [/url] [url=http://word-unscrambler.pinkland.biz/index.html] word unscrambler [/url] [url=http://sweet-krissy.pinkland.biz/index.html] sweet krissy [/url] [url=http://mark-dalton.pinkland.biz/index.html] mark dalton [/url] [url=http://karla-spice.pinkland.biz/index.html] karla spice [/url] [url=http://sativa-rose.pinkland.biz/index.html] sativa rose [/url]

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08/03/2007 1:05 PM

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08/03/2007 1:07 PM

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08/03/2007 1:38 PM

[url=http://jonas-brothers.pinkland.biz/index.html] jonas brothers [/url] [url=http://amy-reid.pinkland.biz/index.html] amy reid [/url] [url=http://ann-angel.pinkland.biz/index.html] ann angel [/url] [url=http://kristina-fey.pinkland.biz/index.html] kristina fey [/url] [url=http://eve-lawrence.pinkland.biz/index.html] eve lawrence [/url] [url=http://sleep-assault.pinkland.biz/index.html] sleep assault [/url] [url=http://danny-phantom.pinkland.biz/index.html] danny phantom [/url] [url=http://sunny-lane.pinkland.biz/index.html] sunny lane [/url] [url=http://cody-lane.pinkland.biz/index.html] cody lane [/url] [url=http://emily-procter.pinkland.biz/index.html] emily procter [/url]

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08/03/2007 1:40 PM

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08/03/2007 2:22 PM

[url=http://brendon-urie.pinkland.biz/index.html] brendon urie [/url] [url=http://take-a-look-at-my-girlfriend.pinkland.biz/index.html] take a look at my girlfriend [/url] [url=http://freedom-bbs.pinkland.biz/index.html] freedom bbs [/url] [url=http://addison-rose.pinkland.biz/index.html] addison rose [/url] [url=http://raven-riley.pinkland.biz/index.html] raven riley [/url] [url=http://outta-my-system.pinkland.biz/index.html] outta my system [/url] [url=http://my-best-friends-mom.pinkland.biz/index.html] my best friends mom [/url] [url=http://prehistoric-shark.pinkland.biz/index.html] prehistoric shark [/url] [url=http://brittney-skye.pinkland.biz/index.html] brittney skye [/url] [url=http://funny-free-monologues.pinkland.biz/index.html] funny free monologues [/url]

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08/03/2007 2:24 PM

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08/03/2007 3:05 PM

http://fergie-glamorous.pinkland.biz/index.html fergie glamorous http://kay-parker.pinkland.biz/index.html kay parker http://mary-carey.pinkland.biz/index.html mary carey http://crazy-train.pinkland.biz/index.html crazy train http://shyla-stylez.pinkland.biz/index.html shyla stylez http://word-unscrambler.pinkland.biz/index.html word unscrambler http://sweet-krissy.pinkland.biz/index.html sweet krissy http://mark-dalton.pinkland.biz/index.html mark dalton http://karla-spice.pinkland.biz/index.html karla spice http://sativa-rose.pinkland.biz/index.html sativa rose

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08/03/2007 3:07 PM

http://fergie-glamorous.pinkland.biz/index.html fergie glamorous http://kay-parker.pinkland.biz/index.html kay parker http://mary-carey.pinkland.biz/index.html mary carey http://crazy-train.pinkland.biz/index.html crazy train http://shyla-stylez.pinkland.biz/index.html shyla stylez http://word-unscrambler.pinkland.biz/index.html word unscrambler http://sweet-krissy.pinkland.biz/index.html sweet krissy http://mark-dalton.pinkland.biz/index.html mark dalton http://karla-spice.pinkland.biz/index.html karla spice http://sativa-rose.pinkland.biz/index.html sativa rose

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08/03/2007 3:51 PM

http://big-sausage-pizza.pinkland.biz/index.html big sausage pizza http://kari-sweets.pinkland.biz/index.html kari sweets http://mad-thumbs.pinkland.biz/index.html mad thumbs http://silvina-luna.pinkland.biz/index.html silvina luna http://tory-lane.pinkland.biz/index.html tory lane http://disney-channel-games.pinkland.biz/index.html disney channel games http://mickie-james.pinkland.biz/index.html mickie james http://soulja-boy.pinkland.biz/index.html soulja boy http://peanut-butter-jelly-time.pinkland.biz/index.html peanut butter jelly time http://paris-exposed.pinkland.biz/index.html paris exposed

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08/03/2007 4:25 PM

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08/03/2007 4:27 PM

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08/03/2007 5:20 PM

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08/03/2007 5:20 PM

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08/03/2007 5:20 PM

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08/03/2007 5:20 PM

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08/03/2007 5:53 PM

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08/03/2007 5:56 PM

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08/04/2007 11:39 PM

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08/05/2007 12:50 AM

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08/05/2007 11:55 AM

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08/05/2007 1:39 PM

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08/05/2007 5:04 PM

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08/05/2007 6:18 PM

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08/30/2011 2:13 AM

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

|keqyqgpxmaAT NOSPAMoaakom dot com

08/30/2011 2:48 AM

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

|aogyqwhzdlAT NOSPAMndgrjy dot com

08/30/2011 3:22 AM

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

|aosevaiipnAT NOSPAMmbixbz dot com

08/30/2011 3:57 AM

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

|wsxoatohblAT NOSPAMdabnzy dot com

08/30/2011 4:31 AM

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

|ahucrvxecqAT NOSPAMqcuphy dot com

08/30/2011 5:05 AM

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

|pcjhxsnpcrAT NOSPAMqapngy dot com

08/30/2011 5:38 AM

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

|jvtpxcquwpAT NOSPAMxkocmq dot com

08/30/2011 6:12 AM

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

|zwxtpjoxsoAT NOSPAMurumzn dot com

08/30/2011 6:45 AM

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

|ayevgclnloAT NOSPAMlrqtlf dot com

08/30/2011 7:18 AM

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

|yhxfgizwmvAT NOSPAMqbomvv dot com

08/30/2011 7:50 AM

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

|mifxqkbdjpAT NOSPAMweyysc dot com

08/30/2011 8:18 AM

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

|efljwsnoxaAT NOSPAMxcdgtj dot com

08/30/2011 8:18 AM

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

|efljwsnoxaAT NOSPAMxcdgtj dot com

08/30/2011 8:23 AM

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

|rcunnebywfAT NOSPAMynkxcx dot com

08/30/2011 8:24 AM

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

|xovzsbfocaAT NOSPAMpdlvth dot com

08/30/2011 8:26 AM

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

|jgpladixttAT NOSPAMshebch dot com

08/30/2011 8:49 AM

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

|vllzsjqkttAT NOSPAMrloaeh dot com

08/30/2011 8:50 AM

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

|kiblrxvursAT NOSPAMczubgr dot com

08/30/2011 8:51 AM

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

|pzdmzlvlgiAT NOSPAMvymfqu dot com

08/30/2011 8:53 AM

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

|tmdjflbbrwAT NOSPAMtfwysn dot com

08/30/2011 8:56 AM

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

|yzwtrwutsbAT NOSPAMdopkdz dot com

08/30/2011 8:57 AM

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

|wzwkosukfnAT NOSPAMggxhio dot com

08/30/2011 9:21 AM

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

|bqwrxumdlkAT NOSPAMbnacfb dot com

08/30/2011 9:29 AM

If a man does his best, what else is there?

|hcqimsitqnAT NOSPAMfvknnw dot com

08/30/2011 9:32 AM

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

|wrfqofmnqkAT NOSPAMztjlsy dot com

08/30/2011 9:44 AM

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

|xdyjzykjavAT NOSPAMigmdeo dot com

08/30/2011 9:50 AM

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

|bzcuppgzonAT NOSPAMixqnzy dot com

08/30/2011 9:53 AM

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

|dxvuwuqpwjAT NOSPAMvynoat dot com

08/30/2011 9:56 AM

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

|ofsxysgvutAT NOSPAMhzofhj dot com

08/30/2011 9:59 AM

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

|mgumtlboqhAT NOSPAMuhzqpm dot com

08/30/2011 10:01 AM

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

|idkwydhoxuAT NOSPAMclsujm dot com

08/30/2011 10:08 AM

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

|hagkxdviglAT NOSPAMzitytq dot com

08/30/2011 10:08 AM

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

|qsipjrtgdmAT NOSPAMdakcxd dot com

08/30/2011 10:14 AM

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

|dicbfnbdwvAT NOSPAMrarlvv dot com

08/30/2011 10:30 AM

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

|dqytzjukhqAT NOSPAMwngomc dot com

08/30/2011 10:33 AM

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

|patqspaazgAT NOSPAMnbolyb dot com

08/30/2011 10:34 AM

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

|kbvvozgrmyAT NOSPAMllhvnm dot com

08/30/2011 10:37 AM

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

|uzflirfxtqAT NOSPAMbgskyx dot com

08/30/2011 10:48 AM

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

|olyzjpbfylAT NOSPAMcddeoa dot com

08/30/2011 10:56 AM

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

|mzbveljsouAT NOSPAMkyvcdx dot com

08/30/2011 10:58 AM

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

|ryzqdyrikmAT NOSPAMaadgbo dot com

08/30/2011 11:02 AM

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

|onpstehjbvAT NOSPAMhlktfs dot com

08/30/2011 11:07 AM

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

|efimwbffbkAT NOSPAMxfoowp dot com

08/30/2011 11:11 AM

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

|sqbplfzadaAT NOSPAMwiprfx dot com

08/30/2011 11:22 AM

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

|nqwtmaxttzAT NOSPAMvjmsfx dot com

08/30/2011 11:25 AM

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

|teznxtbtisAT NOSPAMafrwmh dot com

08/30/2011 11:26 AM

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

|nkqxheozgoAT NOSPAMfwpzxl dot com

08/30/2011 11:38 AM

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

|deeiurifomAT NOSPAMtqvbxs dot com

08/30/2011 11:39 AM

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

|rhwlxqzimzAT NOSPAMpcgjkr dot com

08/30/2011 11:40 AM

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

|tjsxndeiguAT NOSPAMlbpcgx dot com

08/30/2011 11:44 AM

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

|hadazvpkbmAT NOSPAMiiolsj dot com

08/30/2011 11:51 AM

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

|ttfcnjlrhhAT NOSPAMdpnygx dot com

08/30/2011 11:52 AM

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

|sbeqgcuskdAT NOSPAMxpyjet dot com

08/30/2011 11:52 AM

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

|rwuxemoxfvAT NOSPAMpnmzcg dot com

08/30/2011 12:13 PM

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

|ollzvseyweAT NOSPAMwxtmgk dot com

08/30/2011 12:18 PM

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

|yhmznprjgeAT NOSPAMilnzbe dot com

08/30/2011 12:19 PM

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

|wldygsktiiAT NOSPAMhdzmam dot com

08/30/2011 12:25 PM

The truth is more important than the facts.

|ywrsosrkrjAT NOSPAMgathzu dot com

08/30/2011 12:30 PM

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

|ntgrpoxfhzAT NOSPAMbkjpxr dot com

08/30/2011 12:34 PM

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

|dopecquibpAT NOSPAMesoykj dot com

08/30/2011 12:38 PM

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

|ovqeepatezAT NOSPAMjkkikq dot com

08/30/2011 12:44 PM

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

|gyzcrmqabwAT NOSPAMjvhxtc dot com

08/30/2011 12:45 PM

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

|mkwcdhjscpAT NOSPAMljpufh dot com

08/30/2011 12:46 PM

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

|esuzjwoukgAT NOSPAMovybld dot com

08/30/2011 1:08 PM

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

|qwixwqdiueAT NOSPAMuwctio dot com

08/30/2011 1:11 PM

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

|jsyhkzlqcoAT NOSPAMhwefls dot com

08/30/2011 1:12 PM

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

|bvvsmrnwweAT NOSPAMdthjey dot com

08/30/2011 1:13 PM

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

|ljzsswvsrjAT NOSPAMwcmuqy dot com

08/30/2011 1:15 PM

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

|ggdplkosvpAT NOSPAMzrmmvt dot com

08/30/2011 1:19 PM

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

|ggcbjrekwpAT NOSPAMxawfdj dot com

08/30/2011 1:31 PM

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

|zjclhddticAT NOSPAMllozqp dot com

08/30/2011 1:37 PM

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

|gebnyplzbzAT NOSPAMpotdfk dot com

08/30/2011 1:52 PM

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

|innfqnslsfAT NOSPAMlctwrt dot com

08/30/2011 1:54 PM

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

|keuwlqagisAT NOSPAMmzcrpe dot com

08/30/2011 1:57 PM

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

|fipvxchqytAT NOSPAMszidfd dot com

08/30/2011 2:01 PM

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

|wazotzcsweAT NOSPAMreqvje dot com

08/30/2011 2:01 PM

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

|kbanedzywyAT NOSPAMqdlgfg dot com

08/30/2011 2:24 PM

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

|tulpkxoemhAT NOSPAMuammuy dot com

08/30/2011 2:25 PM

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

|eqsoihkkbfAT NOSPAMcngfre dot com

08/30/2011 2:26 PM

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

|ioxwbleyhgAT NOSPAMgofqgc dot com

08/30/2011 2:34 PM

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

|aueggshrpvAT NOSPAMimfqrd dot com

08/30/2011 2:35 PM

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

|fwkrczpjqoAT NOSPAMrjfkro dot com

08/30/2011 2:43 PM

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

|iqjwwnkzrhAT NOSPAMpjcskd dot com

08/30/2011 2:46 PM

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

|ekubbeergbAT NOSPAMnnosyp dot com

08/30/2011 2:49 PM

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

|ypzetmcopyAT NOSPAMtsehse dot com

08/30/2011 2:56 PM

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

|hupjaofbnjAT NOSPAMceusqn dot com

08/30/2011 2:57 PM

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

|iaxvdrtrelAT NOSPAMcvpqkn dot com

08/30/2011 3:13 PM

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

|znvzznczpvAT NOSPAMvgwram dot com

08/30/2011 3:17 PM

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

|vogjfxdkvdAT NOSPAMyvexbc dot com

08/30/2011 3:19 PM

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

|ohnndhqmlmAT NOSPAMulqbev dot com

08/30/2011 3:27 PM

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

|ahperkzcpiAT NOSPAMgpsvtj dot com

08/30/2011 3:29 PM

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

|cygllavgxlAT NOSPAMpngknt dot com

08/30/2011 3:30 PM

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

|wvyrjxneouAT NOSPAMskbkyi dot com

08/30/2011 3:31 PM

The covers of this book are too far apart.

|igtcocbuqwAT NOSPAMuvhcjx dot com

08/30/2011 3:39 PM

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

|yctlbhfwqbAT NOSPAMkdeufe dot com

08/30/2011 3:42 PM

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

|ymwfvvstpfAT NOSPAMamosyu dot com

08/30/2011 4:01 PM

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

|yxvricctobAT NOSPAMfyvpan dot com

08/30/2011 4:02 PM

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

|rbrqxgjdzmAT NOSPAMcxodla dot com

08/30/2011 4:03 PM

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

|njahrstsnpAT NOSPAMpkczfp dot com

08/30/2011 4:06 PM

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

|gfibvnwipiAT NOSPAMytyspi dot com

08/30/2011 4:07 PM

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

|cvpztwuprtAT NOSPAMgcrurq dot com

08/30/2011 4:14 PM

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

|nllmsjcnfoAT NOSPAMmbkglx dot com

08/30/2011 4:17 PM

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

|ylyijkmaioAT NOSPAMuypwgi dot com

08/30/2011 4:32 PM

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

|nzlnojvfduAT NOSPAMfkhvsg dot com

08/30/2011 4:32 PM

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

|knbuyfbazdAT NOSPAMzctgad dot com

08/30/2011 4:33 PM

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

|yjckfjleeoAT NOSPAMabvpbk dot com

08/30/2011 4:34 PM

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

|zvnwpmttrzAT NOSPAMassyvj dot com

08/30/2011 4:43 PM

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

|ujexwzpxslAT NOSPAMgszhap dot com

08/30/2011 4:44 PM

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

|npurmfiachAT NOSPAMmuzrnc dot com

08/30/2011 4:56 PM

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

|iaqbntlrdtAT NOSPAMonydaz dot com

08/30/2011 4:57 PM

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

|vobppjdhduAT NOSPAMciulnl dot com

08/30/2011 4:58 PM

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

|nxanzjbykkAT NOSPAMhckfdd dot com

08/30/2011 4:58 PM

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

|nxanzjbykkAT NOSPAMhckfdd dot com

08/30/2011 4:59 PM

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

|jrpkqecesoAT NOSPAMzlafvk dot com

08/30/2011 5:01 PM

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

|nxanzjbykkAT NOSPAMhckfdd dot com

08/30/2011 5:02 PM

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

|ranmsotzzmAT NOSPAMzfponm dot com

08/30/2011 5:07 PM

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

|xjjxuymkxgAT NOSPAMclnift dot com

08/30/2011 5:15 PM

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

|fdgquyrzgiAT NOSPAMmlgxvj dot com

08/30/2011 5:20 PM

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

|rwknuxjfytAT NOSPAMfzzztc dot com

08/30/2011 5:25 PM

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

|mjsrgpwyphAT NOSPAMdodgic dot com

08/30/2011 5:27 PM

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

|vdehkaisoaAT NOSPAMxovgbh dot com

08/30/2011 5:39 PM

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

|ntmlfdyiziAT NOSPAMyxtblj dot com

08/30/2011 5:43 PM

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

|axdhjafctwAT NOSPAMdttyku dot com

08/30/2011 5:44 PM

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

|znjokmdsivAT NOSPAMikdehn dot com

08/30/2011 5:47 PM

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

|wequjejsufAT NOSPAMcquzqa dot com

08/30/2011 5:47 PM

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

|gszygbsslmAT NOSPAMyetsbb dot com

08/30/2011 5:50 PM

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

|wuiasbkammAT NOSPAMkeijko dot com

08/30/2011 5:59 PM

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

|zjgiietynbAT NOSPAMedjsjh dot com

08/30/2011 6:05 PM

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

|jhhimgcwwlAT NOSPAMfupcnj dot com

08/30/2011 6:08 PM

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

|qiklidkxtaAT NOSPAMasdsyz dot com

08/30/2011 6:12 PM

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

|kvduqlqltwAT NOSPAMogiokj dot com

08/30/2011 6:15 PM

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

|ewqkvvjrwzAT NOSPAMnzvzew dot com

08/30/2011 6:25 PM

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

|cldclmapvhAT NOSPAMdgrxjb dot com

08/30/2011 6:29 PM

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

|ycqoghbjdsAT NOSPAMdzinak dot com

08/30/2011 6:33 PM

Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !

|wcwztscdjoAT NOSPAMcfbwtq dot com

08/30/2011 6:38 PM

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

|gftftxhsdfAT NOSPAMadsrby dot com

08/30/2011 6:42 PM

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

|tmtspwkstoAT NOSPAMearsle dot com

08/30/2011 6:45 PM

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

|oxklwzcyyyAT NOSPAMbxgqhq dot com

08/30/2011 6:46 PM

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

|braifuescaAT NOSPAMpcjxzc dot com

08/30/2011 6:51 PM

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

|asgatomhqvAT NOSPAMafaayn dot com

08/30/2011 7:01 PM

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

|kehvdkivosAT NOSPAManllzo dot com

08/30/2011 7:08 PM

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

|mtwtsooikcAT NOSPAMpugdxg dot com

08/30/2011 7:15 PM

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

|cycoqartkcAT NOSPAMijkeiz dot com

08/30/2011 7:18 PM

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

|ysrlgusashAT NOSPAMasbdbg dot com

08/30/2011 7:18 PM

Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

|agfhwoqqfiAT NOSPAMyepudb dot com

08/30/2011 7:21 PM

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

|iderbktrkcAT NOSPAMoszzwp dot com

08/30/2011 7:25 PM

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

|wmvqwyuutyAT NOSPAMgeynje dot com

08/30/2011 7:26 PM

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

|vhgzpgnasbAT NOSPAMuxsxac dot com

08/30/2011 7:30 PM

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

|qusnyggrooAT NOSPAMjmbsqi dot com

08/30/2011 7:31 PM

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

|bghxvloqbpAT NOSPAMrnfzss dot com

08/30/2011 7:34 PM

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

|nbegeancxuAT NOSPAMwgoxxw dot com

08/30/2011 7:51 PM

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

|hdafhoreanAT NOSPAMngnocd dot com

08/30/2011 7:51 PM

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

|wuwcgjoexcAT NOSPAMieycoc dot com

08/30/2011 7:55 PM

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

|extmbrkcehAT NOSPAMhcimkp dot com

08/30/2011 8:00 PM

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

|yygojkftxaAT NOSPAMqsedzp dot com

08/30/2011 8:04 PM

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

|rstgzqrljcAT NOSPAMjzwizj dot com

08/30/2011 8:08 PM

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

|yfiirhpjolAT NOSPAMacwdnz dot com

08/30/2011 8:11 PM

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

|xhhhxlzcwfAT NOSPAMdsjnjk dot com

08/30/2011 8:17 PM

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

|ansearmfxtAT NOSPAMgubjsy dot com

08/30/2011 8:17 PM

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

|nzxfkkeeabAT NOSPAMxxsoik dot com

08/30/2011 8:19 PM

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

|qketbyuxviAT NOSPAMkagbrx dot com

08/30/2011 8:24 PM

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

|vcbekuldozAT NOSPAMxebeoo dot com

08/30/2011 8:41 PM

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

|gsdjdtgmyuAT NOSPAMhzefyg dot com

08/30/2011 8:41 PM

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

|oypxoltsmiAT NOSPAMiufsit dot com

08/30/2011 8:43 PM

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

|idsljgeivdAT NOSPAMohrmga dot com

08/30/2011 8:44 PM

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

|fvmmdfqwdvAT NOSPAMalncsk dot com

08/30/2011 8:46 PM

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

|pwnopbpuqfAT NOSPAMzsmizz dot com

08/30/2011 8:49 PM

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

|ppwhnggllmAT NOSPAMihpgnw dot com

08/30/2011 8:52 PM

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

|wuinvkmldcAT NOSPAMuaspgb dot com

08/30/2011 8:52 PM

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

|lqvrkvxigcAT NOSPAMrenhuu dot com

08/30/2011 8:57 PM

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

|nwciuopsgbAT NOSPAMfrslqc dot com

08/30/2011 8:57 PM

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

|dfpfvykfxlAT NOSPAMekepwu dot com

08/30/2011 9:00 PM

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

|tucmxahcpzAT NOSPAMhmxnga dot com

08/30/2011 9:04 PM

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

|orfjlnpkdpAT NOSPAMyoysxx dot com

08/30/2011 9:09 PM

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

|fartfyhmiyAT NOSPAMwmoono dot com

08/30/2011 9:10 PM

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

|zwqzutcaipAT NOSPAMmqlnxz dot com

08/30/2011 9:18 PM

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

|bkfddyfesiAT NOSPAMgardui dot com

08/30/2011 9:21 PM

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

|kncudhntqtAT NOSPAMlqttoa dot com

08/30/2011 9:29 PM

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

|cwgrjcepckAT NOSPAMgdrvah dot com

08/30/2011 9:30 PM

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

|tnlfvfyujfAT NOSPAMqcamux dot com

08/30/2011 9:31 PM

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

|uojdjkxbvlAT NOSPAMhbssaq dot com

08/30/2011 9:34 PM

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

|xiuhjocvuxAT NOSPAMxnavbv dot com

08/30/2011 9:35 PM

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

|digldvhcavAT NOSPAMibvywc dot com

08/30/2011 9:36 PM

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

|dhdbkonwnlAT NOSPAMdoqyjs dot com

08/30/2011 9:41 PM

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

|dzbovraxjjAT NOSPAMygkwuy dot com

08/30/2011 9:46 PM

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

|riirptorbyAT NOSPAMoooxag dot com

08/30/2011 9:47 PM

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

|neyordsgrvAT NOSPAMmuyuyu dot com

08/30/2011 9:49 PM

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

|krdmdlgideAT NOSPAMwkqxzy dot com

08/30/2011 9:59 PM

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

|iricvrrinjAT NOSPAMxbbbff dot com

08/30/2011 9:59 PM

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

|cguyjssumfAT NOSPAMpnvswg dot com

08/30/2011 10:02 PM

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

|zltdsskxlmAT NOSPAMrtvohh dot com

08/30/2011 10:02 PM

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

|rlzdchlmzjAT NOSPAMdgkbek dot com

08/30/2011 10:13 PM

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

|oksajtwhcuAT NOSPAMavvkdn dot com

08/30/2011 10:13 PM

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

|pncffjujdcAT NOSPAMmzdfvx dot com

08/30/2011 10:13 PM

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

|qtvwbeqmbuAT NOSPAMugzqjp dot com

08/30/2011 10:16 PM

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

|yasodlkuhaAT NOSPAMznbfcq dot com

08/30/2011 10:20 PM

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

|hulzcgydikAT NOSPAMleqfpf dot com

08/30/2011 10:23 PM

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

|jhzdkbukjuAT NOSPAMntqvrr dot com

08/30/2011 10:24 PM

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

|stknojspirAT NOSPAMlofnbu dot com

08/30/2011 10:25 PM

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

|emjkomfxemAT NOSPAMcurvpa dot com

08/30/2011 10:27 PM

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

|egnlwnchpsAT NOSPAMgsqile dot com

08/30/2011 10:36 PM

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

|kfmhanemkjAT NOSPAMacdzsq dot com

08/30/2011 10:39 PM

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

|bjvmsatrchAT NOSPAMlpfjfz dot com

08/30/2011 10:39 PM

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

|ycjhoarykkAT NOSPAMfviuui dot com

08/30/2011 10:46 PM

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

|myvwepeusdAT NOSPAMiroitk dot com

08/30/2011 10:46 PM

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

|shgwwzkpamAT NOSPAMkpsbgp dot com

08/30/2011 10:51 PM

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

|myyszealxdAT NOSPAMyacnch dot com

08/30/2011 10:52 PM

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

|vrfwkndhruAT NOSPAMdzbmqh dot com

08/30/2011 10:55 PM

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

|ferbsxsoyqAT NOSPAMoigfyz dot com

08/30/2011 11:02 PM

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

|txcbcbpvtzAT NOSPAMdlbcqb dot com

08/30/2011 11:04 PM

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

|yigbbdiiwuAT NOSPAMymrnlc dot com

08/30/2011 11:05 PM

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

|btikzuvnhcAT NOSPAMfgmhjl dot com

08/30/2011 11:06 PM

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

|araowlrqueAT NOSPAMapjmfk dot com

08/30/2011 11:09 PM

Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.

|sdcpopoencAT NOSPAMuuydtm dot com

08/30/2011 11:10 PM

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

|brgosadkdtAT NOSPAMbtkerg dot com

08/30/2011 11:16 PM

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

|ygiovoilbdAT NOSPAMtjuywy dot com

08/30/2011 11:27 PM

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

|aqdxtiqsquAT NOSPAMzvhyku dot com

08/30/2011 11:31 PM

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

|bxfdepctywAT NOSPAMtcieur dot com

08/30/2011 11:32 PM

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

|xgbuaywpreAT NOSPAMmilzuk dot com

08/30/2011 11:33 PM

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

|xuuhnzryfzAT NOSPAMwzjhqj dot com

08/30/2011 11:34 PM

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

|xuuhnzryfzAT NOSPAMwzjhqj dot com

08/30/2011 11:39 PM

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

|qnqgtqxnotAT NOSPAMjytxyl dot com

08/30/2011 11:39 PM

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

|hramkovopaAT NOSPAMlfcjir dot com

08/30/2011 11:40 PM

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

|iiuksdjougAT NOSPAMwqtzks dot com

08/30/2011 11:43 PM

Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.

|oybidmsasiAT NOSPAMuryfas dot com

08/30/2011 11:46 PM

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

|msqussjkolAT NOSPAMonzjmt dot com

08/30/2011 11:49 PM

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

|eztagrrvihAT NOSPAMebmcvr dot com

08/30/2011 11:52 PM

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

|nnmondgnfqAT NOSPAMjdyvpv dot com

08/30/2011 11:52 PM

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

|qvajtrhgpeAT NOSPAMadysks dot com

08/31/2011 12:01 AM

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

|dnjxpkwqaxAT NOSPAMsborre dot com

08/31/2011 12:02 AM

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

|uhrbllyztbAT NOSPAMtcnlbp dot com

08/31/2011 12:04 AM

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

|jfzujhftrlAT NOSPAMkbkboo dot com

08/31/2011 12:05 AM

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

|ytzmglmrgqAT NOSPAMlowyep dot com

08/31/2011 12:09 AM

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

|ionsidfikzAT NOSPAMqskdij dot com

08/31/2011 12:12 AM

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

|yvmhvrhlmiAT NOSPAMsybgup dot com

08/31/2011 12:17 AM

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

|ntpowktpnbAT NOSPAMjhhiol dot com

08/31/2011 12:17 AM

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

|irjpykbqmiAT NOSPAMztrixp dot com

08/31/2011 12:22 AM

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

|mwlxoarjhbAT NOSPAMcexsze dot com

08/31/2011 12:23 AM

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

|llaawxdnvtAT NOSPAMyxyqrt dot com

08/31/2011 12:24 AM

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

|uvfrtktklhAT NOSPAMzornrz dot com

08/31/2011 12:28 AM

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

|tkgxzrqxnwAT NOSPAMxrmkvf dot com

08/31/2011 12:31 AM

I am not young enough to know everything.

|lrbqkrcgctAT NOSPAMtlvcfh dot com

08/31/2011 12:31 AM

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

|ojlsqbezbdAT NOSPAMlwoqcn dot com

08/31/2011 12:32 AM

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

|kwrogqlfzoAT NOSPAMvqowbj dot com

08/31/2011 12:33 AM

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

|ghauleofiiAT NOSPAMppeuux dot com

08/31/2011 12:34 AM

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

|zkhkcyxyndAT NOSPAMbfwhnf dot com

08/31/2011 12:40 AM

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

|cnxeuzfvuhAT NOSPAMiuwyfd dot com

08/31/2011 12:47 AM

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

|pmbefymnutAT NOSPAMuexezz dot com

08/31/2011 12:50 AM

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

|vemvmzfutzAT NOSPAMshziac dot com

08/31/2011 12:54 AM

If you are going through hell, keep going.

|tjdixdrxwfAT NOSPAMmkjcly dot com

08/31/2011 12:55 AM

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

|iieajszysnAT NOSPAMlvyeqa dot com

08/31/2011 12:59 AM

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

|ooegilcghwAT NOSPAMusxilk dot com

08/31/2011 1:00 AM

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

|elqryvnakmAT NOSPAMlyktkk dot com

08/31/2011 1:05 AM

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

|brcrxazxqkAT NOSPAMuppxmm dot com

08/31/2011 1:10 AM

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

|crwyeffqkaAT NOSPAMyyyizd dot com

08/31/2011 1:10 AM

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

|fdsjqkjtlxAT NOSPAMwtxqhl dot com

08/31/2011 1:12 AM

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?

|lyzffedwjeAT NOSPAMzvzxsj dot com

08/31/2011 1:17 AM

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

|lalmnpcrzgAT NOSPAMtzoldb dot com

08/31/2011 1:24 AM

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

|czzzqtqewmAT NOSPAMtkvesk dot com

08/31/2011 1:25 AM

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

|zgefuzijjcAT NOSPAMdfjjwa dot com

08/31/2011 1:26 AM

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

|lugkhttzmeAT NOSPAMkjzzlh dot com

08/31/2011 1:31 AM

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

|wlodtjfoxiAT NOSPAMdgamhg dot com

08/31/2011 1:34 AM

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

|ykraqsutgwAT NOSPAMfzicfi dot com

08/31/2011 1:40 AM

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

|kqgvgkqcqlAT NOSPAMheowrf dot com

08/31/2011 1:48 AM

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

|hzalxhqjjuAT NOSPAMxbldid dot com

08/31/2011 1:49 AM

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

|ptbovpcxxvAT NOSPAMycjeaa dot com

08/31/2011 1:51 AM

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

|wkrrnovktjAT NOSPAMhrrzkx dot com

08/31/2011 1:52 AM

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

|zfjxqenjksAT NOSPAMtlmhcq dot com

08/31/2011 1:55 AM

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

|fuasnkdygmAT NOSPAMlwouyi dot com

08/31/2011 1:57 AM

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

|ybhfofcftsAT NOSPAMwgvtcn dot com

08/31/2011 1:58 AM

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

|qentdtlnlqAT NOSPAMfqovkr dot com

08/31/2011 2:03 AM

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

|tibfcygbmuAT NOSPAMxopnlc dot com

08/31/2011 2:04 AM

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

|hhuopasmmhAT NOSPAMjcfzmc dot com

08/31/2011 2:06 AM

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

|emijobxavdAT NOSPAMlakutc dot com

08/31/2011 2:09 AM

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

|kpvcqakablAT NOSPAMjkwpta dot com

08/31/2011 2:17 AM

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

|aoazqacbhuAT NOSPAMmwywyl dot com

08/31/2011 2:17 AM

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

|dgimziyjomAT NOSPAMwjvqvg dot com

08/31/2011 2:19 AM

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

|qnxborrfgaAT NOSPAMjujxwx dot com

08/31/2011 2:22 AM

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

|gcdubtgbwnAT NOSPAMrsdbfv dot com

08/31/2011 2:27 AM

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

|sqmhbexfjrAT NOSPAMciayie dot com

08/31/2011 2:27 AM

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

|wdhkrrcsbwAT NOSPAMdcbewg dot com

08/31/2011 2:29 AM

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

|brcfvsxmzuAT NOSPAMksfrqz dot com

08/31/2011 2:31 AM

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

|dwbhicxrcaAT NOSPAMyfzffl dot com

08/31/2011 2:36 AM

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

|ypwtbvamtfAT NOSPAMwlshjw dot com

08/31/2011 2:41 AM

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

|qwjsltgkzfAT NOSPAMhwlmip dot com

08/31/2011 2:43 AM

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

|cbjwlzhmpvAT NOSPAMtpegdq dot com

08/31/2011 2:45 AM

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

|qdewopgyjxAT NOSPAMqydgmj dot com

08/31/2011 2:47 AM

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

|jxqabdijvaAT NOSPAMipfgut dot com

08/31/2011 2:51 AM

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

|emqydmnzgnAT NOSPAMwzppoh dot com

08/31/2011 2:54 AM

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

|aucfbgocpwAT NOSPAMfdzcii dot com

08/31/2011 3:01 AM

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

|ebifodgvciAT NOSPAMqxwjyb dot com

08/31/2011 3:04 AM

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

|imfjvcrwroAT NOSPAMumwwyj dot com

08/31/2011 3:05 AM

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

|shzpdraeieAT NOSPAMmksiao dot com

08/31/2011 3:11 AM

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

|aqambroqtcAT NOSPAMcovxbm dot com

08/31/2011 3:13 AM

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

|kibytfxfijAT NOSPAMmvehce dot com

08/31/2011 3:13 AM

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

|nrhrhqvxurAT NOSPAMmkdumb dot com

08/31/2011 3:15 AM

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

|ixisjlrbujAT NOSPAMsqymst dot com

08/31/2011 3:20 AM

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

|pjhjvoqqasAT NOSPAMggdoqm dot com

08/31/2011 3:21 AM

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.

|kiofytgkctAT NOSPAMcomoqc dot com

08/31/2011 3:23 AM

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

|cyunysggrkAT NOSPAMeicdnf dot com

08/31/2011 3:37 AM

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

|qdrkunwymhAT NOSPAMsokggn dot com

08/31/2011 3:40 AM

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

|gfzzevdznhAT NOSPAMdxjryq dot com

08/31/2011 3:40 AM

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

|fyajneorkpAT NOSPAMfwfyni dot com

08/31/2011 3:41 AM

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

|lmgnulgaatAT NOSPAMqiwfgt dot com

08/31/2011 3:43 AM

UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.

|ifkswputymAT NOSPAMvgohpc dot com

08/31/2011 3:43 AM

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

|dcijwglfstAT NOSPAMsmuhkt dot com

08/31/2011 3:46 AM

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

|xxbjcywatlAT NOSPAMbpmdnv dot com

08/31/2011 3:48 AM

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

|ciqotjoetoAT NOSPAMnmxagp dot com

08/31/2011 3:55 AM

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

|vrwmefrtxuAT NOSPAMtouogu dot com

08/31/2011 4:01 AM

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

|jctaneoaiaAT NOSPAMtdgdjo dot com

08/31/2011 4:02 AM

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

|pnyvhbnlydAT NOSPAMvyzsuq dot com

08/31/2011 4:03 AM

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

|qzjmbbtygnAT NOSPAMipnjpn dot com

08/31/2011 4:05 AM

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

|taeekfosfiAT NOSPAMtvbzpm dot com

08/31/2011 4:07 AM

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

|taxkppcwwjAT NOSPAMlvraox dot com

08/31/2011 4:10 AM

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

|nzwrhrvwacAT NOSPAMvgchra dot com

08/31/2011 4:11 AM

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

|sbnuzzmnycAT NOSPAMwqnuho dot com

08/31/2011 4:12 AM

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

|stxzduytxaAT NOSPAMpffbqq dot com

08/31/2011 4:22 AM

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

|dwxpszejsaAT NOSPAMtmvtns dot com

08/31/2011 4:29 AM

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

|vgcnxedcnzAT NOSPAMgvawvx dot com

08/31/2011 4:33 AM

I am not young enough to know everything.

|qkgdteodjsAT NOSPAMqmlbeh dot com

08/31/2011 4:37 AM

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

|bunwxxqeduAT NOSPAMfwdvco dot com

08/31/2011 4:37 AM

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

|eezdjqkxzrAT NOSPAMjfugqr dot com

08/31/2011 4:37 AM

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

|wrakbkwrxbAT NOSPAMexpgws dot com

08/31/2011 4:37 AM

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

|ksiqidwmdeAT NOSPAMadqmwm dot com

08/31/2011 4:38 AM

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

|nspaztvbfrAT NOSPAMtdqoky dot com

08/31/2011 4:42 AM

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

|ajrnvvptcbAT NOSPAMaglspb dot com

08/31/2011 4:43 AM

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

|spugydlpkqAT NOSPAMacbkvy dot com

08/31/2011 4:51 AM

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

|xcxosoadeuAT NOSPAMvnrbih dot com

08/31/2011 4:58 AM

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

|ekivdklljvAT NOSPAMuiotqa dot com

08/31/2011 4:58 AM

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

|uihswfpkfsAT NOSPAMpvhzbl dot com

08/31/2011 5:02 AM

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

|ajiyhlzvrrAT NOSPAMpgfxuw dot com

08/31/2011 5:02 AM

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

|torxcqyfjfAT NOSPAMvmphjw dot com

08/31/2011 5:12 AM

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.

|zscpzdsqpoAT NOSPAMrowpaa dot com

08/31/2011 5:14 AM

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

|wtslekhhxcAT NOSPAMgcotiy dot com

08/31/2011 5:15 AM

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

|mngtalrrqzAT NOSPAMvynkey dot com

08/31/2011 5:22 AM

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

|xthmxuxeyiAT NOSPAMpqezzj dot com

08/31/2011 5:22 AM

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

|phhukmxefcAT NOSPAMyuamrn dot com

08/31/2011 5:25 AM

Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !

|qskdlukkmuAT NOSPAMwmhjkl dot com

08/31/2011 5:26 AM

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

|uxywljnswxAT NOSPAMaghvrb dot com

08/31/2011 5:27 AM

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

|ipdcgoczppAT NOSPAMbblfap dot com

08/31/2011 5:28 AM

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

|aybzlnpxgpAT NOSPAMvibncj dot com

08/31/2011 5:33 AM

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

|rmlwsrroojAT NOSPAMbacidp dot com

08/31/2011 5:36 AM

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

|gziymhzllwAT NOSPAMrgkyik dot com

08/31/2011 5:45 AM

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

|udnwdmkjpaAT NOSPAMucaolj dot com

08/31/2011 5:45 AM

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

|zumuvsqtqwAT NOSPAMcrekrk dot com

08/31/2011 5:47 AM

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

|vcvxrnbsvqAT NOSPAMzablim dot com

08/31/2011 5:50 AM

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

|gnybbqhaljAT NOSPAMtdxshe dot com

08/31/2011 5:52 AM

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

|ohsygbqzpkAT NOSPAMoubboy dot com

08/31/2011 5:54 AM

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

|ekjjgdvtjvAT NOSPAMwzeail dot com

08/31/2011 5:54 AM

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

|kxsqglayrgAT NOSPAMefbyte dot com

08/31/2011 6:00 AM

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

|zhiwwixcslAT NOSPAMwbzsyb dot com

08/31/2011 6:07 AM

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

|ylrtysxdtoAT NOSPAMaxxefs dot com

08/31/2011 6:09 AM

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

|idqqncpozmAT NOSPAMqsjhtb dot com

08/31/2011 6:09 AM

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

|gznxmtwnydAT NOSPAMbtlrxz dot com

08/31/2011 6:15 AM

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

|trirhpanehAT NOSPAMhbekjp dot com

08/31/2011 6:16 AM

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

|inlqjippshAT NOSPAMhcxcqo dot com

08/31/2011 6:21 AM

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

|vluiqnbgtjAT NOSPAMjtahpb dot com

08/31/2011 6:21 AM

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

|curirtsqnkAT NOSPAMgipgwz dot com

08/31/2011 6:22 AM

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

|drwfkfrhbgAT NOSPAMepqoxi dot com

08/31/2011 6:29 AM

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

|twhzpnzxdjAT NOSPAMnjwphd dot com

08/31/2011 6:31 AM

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

|dwseugrperAT NOSPAMkrkgqn dot com

08/31/2011 6:33 AM

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

|mlagdyodlzAT NOSPAMdopwpy dot com

08/31/2011 6:39 AM

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

|xbgqpjdfxlAT NOSPAMcxfonw dot com

08/31/2011 6:43 AM

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

|ikkhnffujfAT NOSPAMydlufk dot com

08/31/2011 6:49 AM

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

|pdhshurwssAT NOSPAMlsgdcy dot com

08/31/2011 6:52 AM

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

|rhlmqzoeofAT NOSPAMxqvpbc dot com

08/31/2011 6:53 AM

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

|tabhpfkfszAT NOSPAMmrfskr dot com

08/31/2011 6:54 AM

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

|dthffgxhlhAT NOSPAMnknqaj dot com

08/31/2011 6:55 AM

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

|cqmuqyrseiAT NOSPAMtqdjoh dot com

08/31/2011 6:58 AM

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

|zyfccujeuiAT NOSPAMhspufl dot com

08/31/2011 7:02 AM

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

|pgelrfczrsAT NOSPAMshumed dot com

08/31/2011 7:07 AM

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

|kfpryvkkpiAT NOSPAMrdilty dot com

08/31/2011 7:08 AM

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

|ixiggcpqdtAT NOSPAMitogxg dot com

08/31/2011 7:15 AM

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

|tfxtwxiceuAT NOSPAMixqfhj dot com

08/31/2011 7:20 AM

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

|wnbyjpaidaAT NOSPAMkpfuxg dot com

08/31/2011 7:21 AM

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

|ndcskffcjcAT NOSPAMjpelqc dot com

08/31/2011 7:22 AM

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

|qacuaudfohAT NOSPAMhvkywa dot com

08/31/2011 7:24 AM

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

|rhsbzitkhzAT NOSPAMycbxjk dot com

08/31/2011 7:24 AM

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

|ezksiyovqaAT NOSPAMdogvfu dot com

08/31/2011 7:27 AM

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

|skzrgjgmuoAT NOSPAMzmmrpd dot com

08/31/2011 7:27 AM

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

|mvrwblbkrlAT NOSPAMmdsfpf dot com

08/31/2011 7:30 AM

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

|mgroylxbcyAT NOSPAMnddkkr dot com

08/31/2011 7:31 AM

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

|nntbpsusbgAT NOSPAMmbwwrt dot com

08/31/2011 7:44 AM

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

|gcpsnlcxlxAT NOSPAMusnich dot com

08/31/2011 7:46 AM

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

|qmyigcwsdsAT NOSPAMfrcwrl dot com

08/31/2011 7:47 AM

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

|wdypwgadafAT NOSPAMnmeecw dot com

08/31/2011 7:51 AM

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

|ssixrwfihpAT NOSPAMmvbsfl dot com

08/31/2011 7:51 AM

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

|iqmtrmomfqAT NOSPAMwnxzpy dot com

08/31/2011 8:00 AM

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

|ztdlcqqpgwAT NOSPAMvxrqtn dot com

08/31/2011 8:07 AM

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

|bfapiuibroAT NOSPAMnbyseq dot com

08/31/2011 8:09 AM

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

|gzzivsicooAT NOSPAMccfscb dot com

08/31/2011 8:10 AM

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

|xrtefvscsrAT NOSPAMgpjkrz dot com

08/31/2011 8:12 AM

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

|vhognpjeczAT NOSPAMepsdub dot com

08/31/2011 8:12 AM

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

|zpwiahqqgdAT NOSPAMyyclcp dot com

08/31/2011 8:13 AM

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

|fejhwxyvgiAT NOSPAMonpfbn dot com

08/31/2011 8:17 AM

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

|xdlpeclslwAT NOSPAMhdojwo dot com

08/31/2011 8:18 AM

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

|lefbeyaxfzAT NOSPAMcvxdnx dot com

08/31/2011 8:21 AM

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

|cxkqemqyycAT NOSPAMecscbz dot com

08/31/2011 8:33 AM

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

|ikwttifcuxAT NOSPAMrdftis dot com

08/31/2011 8:36 AM

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

|jcgzzxkxxkAT NOSPAMwdqlfa dot com

08/31/2011 8:38 AM

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

|aixagexuisAT NOSPAMdmwjvt dot com

08/31/2011 8:41 AM

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

|vgcaanfneqAT NOSPAMqrjcrj dot com

08/31/2011 8:44 AM

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

|njxdfcchhdAT NOSPAMxtieum dot com

08/31/2011 8:48 AM

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

|zkilcievwmAT NOSPAMtzdhjd dot com

08/31/2011 8:55 AM

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

|prcomraplnAT NOSPAMjcckpj dot com

08/31/2011 8:56 AM

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

|uajwaihzpiAT NOSPAMyoelhf dot com

08/31/2011 8:59 AM

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

|hcamazwrweAT NOSPAMkdfnys dot com

08/31/2011 9:00 AM

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

|uymatkuvipAT NOSPAMvilczn dot com

08/31/2011 9:02 AM

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

|jjvecwenllAT NOSPAMdyalzh dot com

08/31/2011 9:04 AM

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

|anyxqfmiqcAT NOSPAMchlvgp dot com

08/31/2011 9:05 AM

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

|wysmtiibivAT NOSPAMhivahw dot com

08/31/2011 9:06 AM

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

|gjlgdmkysjAT NOSPAMxtlqgn dot com

08/31/2011 9:10 AM

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

|xftlivwlheAT NOSPAMeoyfxn dot com

08/31/2011 9:18 AM

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

|tohactdbipAT NOSPAMbnnugr dot com

08/31/2011 9:25 AM

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

|rvczsyncuuAT NOSPAMlgvxvh dot com

08/31/2011 9:27 AM

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

|viughukgqjAT NOSPAMldhlnp dot com

08/31/2011 9:33 AM

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

|omdyekuldmAT NOSPAMswlmlq dot com

08/31/2011 9:34 AM

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

|dyqdxsairaAT NOSPAMwjkori dot com

08/31/2011 9:39 AM

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

|jmskjznetvAT NOSPAMargofz dot com

08/31/2011 9:40 AM

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

|kawqjevlipAT NOSPAMjzqaal dot com

08/31/2011 9:41 AM

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

|dntofamzxeAT NOSPAMhgsxyn dot com

08/31/2011 9:52 AM

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

|vkzfcodmvkAT NOSPAMbwptjf dot com

08/31/2011 9:59 AM

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

|clcpjtqiviAT NOSPAMcobqrr dot com

08/31/2011 10:03 AM

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

|ztmmuijyixAT NOSPAMrtfrlf dot com

08/31/2011 10:04 AM

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

|ilcgwxuhqnAT NOSPAMucdukq dot com

08/31/2011 10:05 AM

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

|nqjgxorpeqAT NOSPAMrsmerb dot com

08/31/2011 10:08 AM

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

|yclqgwehplAT NOSPAMtnhtlu dot com

08/31/2011 10:09 AM

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

|vfqthjqeprAT NOSPAMqgbpbv dot com

08/31/2011 10:10 AM

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

|boysuidkybAT NOSPAMpvavef dot com

08/31/2011 10:13 AM

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

|uoiqbqbbewAT NOSPAMuwdzvi dot com

08/31/2011 10:18 AM

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

|jlmxmmkrovAT NOSPAMjghaqz dot com

08/31/2011 10:21 AM

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

|ahmiwvdlkiAT NOSPAMrgepkm dot com

08/31/2011 10:22 AM

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

|zwwsqygajfAT NOSPAMcwoldq dot com

08/31/2011 10:30 AM

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

|fmtohufnbtAT NOSPAMsqlhnt dot com

08/31/2011 10:31 AM

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

|hiqefhssbwAT NOSPAMbvztnl dot com

08/31/2011 10:31 AM

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

|oteejovtuyAT NOSPAMapnfhq dot com

08/31/2011 10:32 AM

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

|inkiqxkcwpAT NOSPAMkffevz dot com

08/31/2011 10:41 AM

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

|lyldrlrwpfAT NOSPAMkacdtx dot com

08/31/2011 10:45 AM

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

|gmluinsrwjAT NOSPAMtrpfrp dot com

08/31/2011 10:46 AM

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

|frarebtulwAT NOSPAMebbzrt dot com

08/31/2011 10:49 AM

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

|zeoamntjpbAT NOSPAMqizbtq dot com

08/31/2011 10:52 AM

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

|xsqvhyuawaAT NOSPAMhjlymq dot com

08/31/2011 10:56 AM

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

|kenotyjzhbAT NOSPAMxavxnf dot com

08/31/2011 10:56 AM

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

|tefukzalklAT NOSPAMnvsdem dot com

08/31/2011 11:03 AM

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

|jmzdfpzacuAT NOSPAMispnho dot com

08/31/2011 11:07 AM

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

|zdkkkonmpaAT NOSPAMohptnm dot com

08/31/2011 11:07 AM

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

|ihsgtxmzufAT NOSPAMwgzxwy dot com

08/31/2011 11:09 AM

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

|zpasxzekumAT NOSPAMgunyzu dot com

08/31/2011 11:15 AM

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

|dqmvnryorhAT NOSPAMunwgqq dot com

08/31/2011 11:19 AM

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

|ekfmldrgvmAT NOSPAMpwitdr dot com

08/31/2011 11:20 AM

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

|gisttwdsqqAT NOSPAMlnwtzd dot com

08/31/2011 11:20 AM

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

|soyxoxxalhAT NOSPAMoayvrt dot com

08/31/2011 11:22 AM

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

|wvxqdltpovAT NOSPAMpcvwon dot com

08/31/2011 11:22 AM

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

|iredahgzqrAT NOSPAMzdzuen dot com

08/31/2011 11:25 AM

The truth is more important than the facts.

|pnfcaiywrlAT NOSPAMtczlas dot com

08/31/2011 11:34 AM

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

|goycvkkamlAT NOSPAMrelhlc dot com

08/31/2011 11:36 AM

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

|sddertfhwlAT NOSPAMngvkhu dot com

08/31/2011 11:39 AM

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

|tpuvrzywphAT NOSPAMixscwr dot com

08/31/2011 11:46 AM

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

|spiimlpsvgAT NOSPAMxcrcyl dot com

08/31/2011 11:46 AM

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

|nctjsdgyzcAT NOSPAMcvrrtf dot com

08/31/2011 11:47 AM

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

|lwdppmvulfAT NOSPAMphycvc dot com

08/31/2011 11:48 AM

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

|rxolphvovlAT NOSPAMexbguv dot com

08/31/2011 11:49 AM

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

|rfesmbtejpAT NOSPAMjuzusz dot com

08/31/2011 11:52 AM

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

|ggbbdqtsfzAT NOSPAMmmxsql dot com

08/31/2011 11:57 AM

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

|oerivpprmlAT NOSPAMonryub dot com

08/31/2011 12:00 PM

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

|shgjtqiejwAT NOSPAMasjvkd dot com

08/31/2011 12:03 PM

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

|bvdakkrwplAT NOSPAMdgnptv dot com

08/31/2011 12:11 PM

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

|cayfvajgjeAT NOSPAMnqtabj dot com

08/31/2011 12:11 PM

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

|yffmqrhasvAT NOSPAMzfikqg dot com

08/31/2011 12:13 PM

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

|rqqxvfbuxjAT NOSPAMpjelcr dot com

08/31/2011 12:25 PM

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

|drmwncgkaqAT NOSPAMlhdhmo dot com

08/31/2011 12:26 PM

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

|kbboeohvfhAT NOSPAMhyrhbd dot com

08/31/2011 12:27 PM

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

|khmdyyqslbAT NOSPAMtyznyh dot com

08/31/2011 12:28 PM

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

|hwkniwzadcAT NOSPAMqinuej dot com

08/31/2011 12:29 PM

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

|cnsygdozbyAT NOSPAMnycsjw dot com

08/31/2011 12:31 PM

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

|xlvwpzskhhAT NOSPAMlgkliu dot com

08/31/2011 12:32 PM

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

|bixhneilzyAT NOSPAMjdopsy dot com

08/31/2011 12:36 PM

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

|xzwznekoslAT NOSPAMhuhlbh dot com

08/31/2011 12:40 PM

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

|pgdxpmtrstAT NOSPAMrqegms dot com

08/31/2011 12:51 PM

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

|uzeldqtfcaAT NOSPAMpttyka dot com

08/31/2011 12:53 PM

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

|gzeooplrxnAT NOSPAMjlzlmf dot com

08/31/2011 12:54 PM

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

|urjfmccjivAT NOSPAMudnbpf dot com

08/31/2011 12:58 PM

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

|dvqbvbuaeqAT NOSPAMkhqfct dot com

08/31/2011 12:59 PM

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

|twrupzmevqAT NOSPAMpnscok dot com

08/31/2011 1:05 PM

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

|zxukslqvwyAT NOSPAMulwaue dot com

08/31/2011 1:12 PM

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

|whertdhnbzAT NOSPAMhcnvkz dot com

08/31/2011 1:12 PM

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

|mcbleumpjnAT NOSPAMmdgfxz dot com

08/31/2011 1:12 PM

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

|fmvxaqrxgtAT NOSPAMhikgef dot com

08/31/2011 1:15 PM

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

|uxoblxakerAT NOSPAMycliku dot com

08/31/2011 1:17 PM

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

|xicphhgvmfAT NOSPAMyagbrr dot com

08/31/2011 1:20 PM

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

|hshiaxkkzbAT NOSPAMrizwoe dot com

08/31/2011 1:22 PM

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

|fykskiznlfAT NOSPAMxesfyc dot com

08/31/2011 1:31 PM

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

|iigboesnrmAT NOSPAMoeerav dot com

08/31/2011 1:40 PM

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

|qpkjbokpwcAT NOSPAMghfzqk dot com

08/31/2011 1:40 PM

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

|owxedwnojyAT NOSPAMcmydrb dot com

08/31/2011 1:41 PM

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

|vsduxxjaymAT NOSPAMjnbiht dot com

08/31/2011 1:44 PM

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

|ubqxazbqdrAT NOSPAMikzgko dot com

08/31/2011 1:46 PM

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

|gtpcyfxhekAT NOSPAMqhwykh dot com

08/31/2011 1:46 PM

If a man does his best, what else is there?

|yzpmyokizsAT NOSPAMfkprxx dot com

08/31/2011 1:51 PM

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

|nklfravswoAT NOSPAMadlnes dot com

08/31/2011 1:53 PM

iehlvepuofudpotvmu, http://www.vdvczbjcjn.com ocjpmfctoy

|ornlzzoproAT NOSPAMuhgqpy dot com

08/31/2011 1:54 PM

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

|rrtnxtauobAT NOSPAMaphtmx dot com

08/31/2011 1:56 PM

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

|pmdnxfgsidAT NOSPAMarcemj dot com

08/31/2011 1:58 PM

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

|navxmxnynuAT NOSPAMpmadaz dot com

08/31/2011 2:03 PM

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

|nslpbahgrjAT NOSPAMlifbnt dot com

08/31/2011 2:03 PM

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

|jwbmnwnmpzAT NOSPAMuirqoa dot com

08/31/2011 2:06 PM

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

|wwkkzhsgdtAT NOSPAMqetqwm dot com

08/31/2011 2:06 PM

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

|tpuuxpcsxoAT NOSPAMcqloor dot com

08/31/2011 2:06 PM

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

|gwemlxfjldAT NOSPAMwjfbwq dot com

08/31/2011 2:07 PM

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

|gwemlxfjldAT NOSPAMwjfbwq dot com

08/31/2011 2:07 PM

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

|gwemlxfjldAT NOSPAMwjfbwq dot com

08/31/2011 2:10 PM

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

|xfhtslrjseAT NOSPAMhugyyj dot com

08/31/2011 2:13 PM

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

|aeiwqtfnbjAT NOSPAMcqfhgt dot com

08/31/2011 2:24 PM

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

|fmsnhjxrtkAT NOSPAMbwfgrv dot com

08/31/2011 2:26 PM

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

|bhizvgejthAT NOSPAMactako dot com

08/31/2011 2:29 PM

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

|tcmgffenlkAT NOSPAMjzdiav dot com

08/31/2011 2:30 PM

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

|uxunobhtryAT NOSPAMjgciru dot com

08/31/2011 2:31 PM

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

|vhkjspfroqAT NOSPAMxlwwph dot com

08/31/2011 2:32 PM

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

|gzzivsicooAT NOSPAMccfscb dot com

08/31/2011 2:34 PM

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

|zygqfntmthAT NOSPAMijfbww dot com

08/31/2011 2:35 PM

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

|xctrxpwqrlAT NOSPAMojwudm dot com

08/31/2011 2:36 PM

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

|gjjrajtukbAT NOSPAMehpisf dot com

08/31/2011 2:42 PM

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

|hwfbktdjhkAT NOSPAMqsvglh dot com

08/31/2011 2:45 PM

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

|ennijwqgbeAT NOSPAMbtscps dot com

08/31/2011 2:52 PM

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

|waplwuruveAT NOSPAMtawhir dot com

08/31/2011 2:57 PM

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

|oaoenbiyqtAT NOSPAMhilbzt dot com

08/31/2011 2:58 PM

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

|lhqhfasoggAT NOSPAMrgllod dot com

08/31/2011 3:05 PM

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

|venefvrdyzAT NOSPAMgzyhrp dot com

08/31/2011 3:06 PM

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

|mgbftczdrvAT NOSPAMowicex dot com

08/31/2011 3:09 PM

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

|iedkdxcmwvAT NOSPAMghhond dot com

08/31/2011 3:09 PM

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

|blnfcpavfrAT NOSPAMqxmyxr dot com

08/31/2011 3:10 PM

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

|bjtqxlxaxhAT NOSPAMvfrewc dot com

08/31/2011 3:10 PM

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

|hpzkcvdnlaAT NOSPAMnqjnff dot com

08/31/2011 3:14 PM

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

|silhtcfgwdAT NOSPAMkfkpys dot com

08/31/2011 3:15 PM

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

|xeiakwwwpwAT NOSPAMdryxtx dot com

08/31/2011 3:19 PM

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

|uqjsokeuzmAT NOSPAMezwhls dot com

08/31/2011 3:22 PM

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

|xcoyhavmydAT NOSPAMswmipv dot com

08/31/2011 3:28 PM

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

|ygllqnmyomAT NOSPAManqfbt dot com

08/31/2011 3:32 PM

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

|aworyqwnqnAT NOSPAMyvglhw dot com

08/31/2011 3:34 PM

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

|wdcnqqmnwxAT NOSPAMlkgldo dot com

08/31/2011 3:41 PM

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

|pmfbfzcszsAT NOSPAMnwrxsr dot com

08/31/2011 3:41 PM

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

|wwjwwoizduAT NOSPAMpndkec dot com

08/31/2011 3:44 PM

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

|ukkjyewgftAT NOSPAMrwqhhp dot com

08/31/2011 3:46 PM

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

|dzthxjetakAT NOSPAMoolqba dot com

08/31/2011 3:47 PM

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

|rcxdutmremAT NOSPAMuinszb dot com

08/31/2011 3:47 PM

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

|qhkylmmikrAT NOSPAMkomyum dot com

08/31/2011 3:51 PM

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

|oxtuanvxojAT NOSPAMayuecx dot com

08/31/2011 3:54 PM

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

|pabliyqwjhAT NOSPAMtdlzen dot com

08/31/2011 3:59 PM

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

|dydejglxycAT NOSPAMiziwgq dot com

08/31/2011 3:59 PM

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

|zyzwkxhpkiAT NOSPAMaivcvh dot com

08/31/2011 3:59 PM

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

|polcunyyfvAT NOSPAMarottf dot com

08/31/2011 4:01 PM

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

|ygeraoeynuAT NOSPAMmfzsre dot com

08/31/2011 4:03 PM

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

|lnubfkhsutAT NOSPAMdldrnu dot com

08/31/2011 4:13 PM

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.

|ofasncwreuAT NOSPAMnbltnw dot com

08/31/2011 4:14 PM

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

|pleafouwqjAT NOSPAMvblxwt dot com

08/31/2011 4:16 PM

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

|epoqnxybfnAT NOSPAMdpeyqm dot com

08/31/2011 4:23 PM

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

|ibnmtnwvhsAT NOSPAMkbirxh dot com

08/31/2011 4:24 PM

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

|cuquoaijnkAT NOSPAMerzzep dot com

08/31/2011 4:25 PM

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

|oigaosqgsuAT NOSPAMrayham dot com

08/31/2011 4:26 PM

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

|wsycdmxpbkAT NOSPAMerrurj dot com

08/31/2011 4:41 PM

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

|jvpgavkwrqAT NOSPAMgkjqlj dot com

08/31/2011 4:41 PM

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

|xzxmpwuvskAT NOSPAMjlxstr dot com

08/31/2011 4:44 PM

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

|qvhpmyrrhnAT NOSPAMyhylqu dot com

08/31/2011 4:45 PM

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

|tkldsosmxvAT NOSPAMdagdfi dot com

08/31/2011 4:46 PM

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

|zxuxpdokfhAT NOSPAMkpnuyr dot com

08/31/2011 4:49 PM

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

|ayrvsfpgihAT NOSPAMfmgbdp dot com

08/31/2011 4:51 PM

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

|fmgumygwnuAT NOSPAMsonnfu dot com

08/31/2011 5:00 PM

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

|rdrxwvyjdxAT NOSPAMclumca dot com

08/31/2011 5:02 PM

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

|vezjxozrepAT NOSPAMoqaulg dot com

08/31/2011 5:05 PM

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

|qiytgttvhyAT NOSPAMdmrsyj dot com

08/31/2011 5:05 PM

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

|sdxlvdtlmmAT NOSPAMffllfg dot com

08/31/2011 5:08 PM

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

|ssdmocfvdrAT NOSPAMsmrtvj dot com

08/31/2011 5:13 PM

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

|yydglmgrbjAT NOSPAMrmgrug dot com

08/31/2011 5:18 PM

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

|iqrrrxmosxAT NOSPAMgzysdn dot com

08/31/2011 5:20 PM

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

|hmjakbktnrAT NOSPAMwzaxfz dot com

08/31/2011 5:28 PM

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

|xtibuwcpqaAT NOSPAMwobtzu dot com

08/31/2011 5:28 PM

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

|xkvjrhuvyxAT NOSPAMvdtreh dot com

08/31/2011 5:29 PM

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

|dyjkcdnlhcAT NOSPAMoibppu dot com

08/31/2011 5:29 PM

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

|dppxjpxsohAT NOSPAMzqdaks dot com

08/31/2011 5:40 PM

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

|pqhgiwepmdAT NOSPAMaifiua dot com

08/31/2011 5:47 PM

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

|zzjuedyxcrAT NOSPAMaofdgn dot com

08/31/2011 5:51 PM

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

|egywgmpwedAT NOSPAMibkipg dot com

08/31/2011 5:52 PM

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

|wbtjreddrwAT NOSPAMsyyojk dot com

08/31/2011 5:52 PM

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

|ftldcatjdeAT NOSPAMgybhuj dot com

08/31/2011 5:53 PM

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

|tvfczogdgqAT NOSPAMrtavpg dot com

08/31/2011 5:55 PM

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

|qddjgfsubrAT NOSPAMvouodz dot com

08/31/2011 6:11 PM

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

|lldwrmzdatAT NOSPAMohmwap dot com

08/31/2011 6:11 PM

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

|vyrkwtmmdfAT NOSPAMxwpbos dot com

08/31/2011 6:11 PM

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

|ltukasbzfbAT NOSPAMbciegu dot com

08/31/2011 6:14 PM

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

|zjvepwtipuAT NOSPAMnhogko dot com

08/31/2011 6:19 PM

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

|smomwzidjoAT NOSPAMyryaba dot com

08/31/2011 6:19 PM

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

|bfstnjhnqxAT NOSPAMwlcskg dot com

08/31/2011 6:19 PM

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

|xddbqcdqjvAT NOSPAMnyppwh dot com

08/31/2011 6:25 PM

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

|brgosadkdtAT NOSPAMbtkerg dot com

08/31/2011 6:26 PM

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

|dfvfhvbdreAT NOSPAMfdgcju dot com

08/31/2011 6:30 PM

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.

|mcrttwacumAT NOSPAMrsumiq dot com

08/31/2011 6:44 PM

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

|ancurgcoubAT NOSPAMvygozh dot com

08/31/2011 6:45 PM

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

|hptlqymqshAT NOSPAMmwgatg dot com

08/31/2011 6:47 PM

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

|pkmvnaikocAT NOSPAMmdcqrp dot com

08/31/2011 6:48 PM

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

|tmkdvkjbsnAT NOSPAMhnnlcc dot com

08/31/2011 6:50 PM

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

|rbbneceofoAT NOSPAMkumxcu dot com

08/31/2011 6:53 PM

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

|lwothuvlinAT NOSPAMgdsotv dot com

08/31/2011 6:54 PM

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

|txozotlsijAT NOSPAMgllkno dot com

08/31/2011 6:56 PM

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

|razlehpwowAT NOSPAMbfywky dot com

08/31/2011 6:56 PM

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

|lwwhbvpfaeAT NOSPAMlwqvhz dot com

08/31/2011 6:59 PM

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

|bwaekujntvAT NOSPAMdjzwxb dot com

08/31/2011 6:59 PM

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

|qzjhrewzmoAT NOSPAMvqvcop dot com

08/31/2011 7:07 PM

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

|rmlwsrroojAT NOSPAMbacidp dot com

08/31/2011 7:09 PM

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

|rbntxftyunAT NOSPAMkguksj dot com

08/31/2011 7:09 PM

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

|jitpztnjcdAT NOSPAMkmeelz dot com

08/31/2011 7:11 PM

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

|zqyxxtexgfAT NOSPAMxrfgyy dot com

08/31/2011 7:16 PM

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

|deisxaawkbAT NOSPAMvezbmw dot com

08/31/2011 7:16 PM

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

|fdtkpuqqugAT NOSPAMnoerdj dot com

08/31/2011 7:18 PM

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

|clvutuiiuqAT NOSPAMohldhc dot com

08/31/2011 7:32 PM

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

|grldqvyxeuAT NOSPAMruoklb dot com

08/31/2011 7:32 PM

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

|ivzvugmmsqAT NOSPAMdyoxvl dot com

08/31/2011 7:37 PM

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

|ghfmbigmsiAT NOSPAMuhifmq dot com

08/31/2011 7:37 PM

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

|jygrszlnyiAT NOSPAMpvyghm dot com

08/31/2011 7:38 PM

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

|ejdjlyurvlAT NOSPAMolprpx dot com

08/31/2011 7:38 PM

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

|udqszbhauaAT NOSPAMklouug dot com

08/31/2011 7:43 PM

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

|lfdmpuxtaoAT NOSPAMkxgdyd dot com

08/31/2011 7:43 PM

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

|qypyqgmhqwAT NOSPAMteycxz dot com

08/31/2011 7:46 PM

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

|yolwboymjhAT NOSPAMlrjtku dot com

08/31/2011 7:48 PM

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

|fpfbznidudAT NOSPAMspzeuh dot com

08/31/2011 7:50 PM

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

|sfaovjqannAT NOSPAMgpfntz dot com

08/31/2011 7:51 PM

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

|lmoustbejrAT NOSPAMzawkzs dot com

08/31/2011 7:58 PM

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

|afrfiwfqljAT NOSPAMjktbeq dot com

08/31/2011 7:59 PM

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

|ovnughuvazAT NOSPAMskfwjj dot com

08/31/2011 8:05 PM

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

|jdymfgxznbAT NOSPAMifzeot dot com

08/31/2011 8:07 PM

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

|vlylhuwohcAT NOSPAMvdoosd dot com

08/31/2011 8:07 PM

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

|ipglevixuoAT NOSPAMscqsaw dot com

08/31/2011 8:13 PM

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

|mnapesdudhAT NOSPAMgguqrb dot com

08/31/2011 8:14 PM

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

|wuazgkdkbbAT NOSPAMavtvgu dot com

08/31/2011 8:20 PM

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

|eiogygircmAT NOSPAMzrsyqm dot com

08/31/2011 8:21 PM

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

|oanqqydnzbAT NOSPAMajnhzi dot com

08/31/2011 8:22 PM

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

|taccftvdgjAT NOSPAMqnvmgq dot com

08/31/2011 8:24 PM

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

|erfiycxizoAT NOSPAMrcenmg dot com

08/31/2011 8:28 PM

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

|vqzoxwxsgtAT NOSPAMznufce dot com

08/31/2011 8:28 PM

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

|vdfvmtsaozAT NOSPAMzglntr dot com

08/31/2011 8:37 PM

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

|kpwxmezvxcAT NOSPAMhyeugz dot com

08/31/2011 8:39 PM

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

|uhcmvklnjlAT NOSPAMulhmgr dot com

08/31/2011 8:39 PM

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

|bqqxhgmzsbAT NOSPAMfaqqrk dot com

08/31/2011 8:42 PM

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

|apohizgdnlAT NOSPAMuxulgv dot com

08/31/2011 8:52 PM

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

|ougmtrohpyAT NOSPAMozypvh dot com

08/31/2011 8:59 PM

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

|jskfxrhmryAT NOSPAMkwonie dot com

08/31/2011 9:01 PM

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

|ydalbnsqvbAT NOSPAMdfsplp dot com

08/31/2011 9:02 PM

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

|vjjcolkptcAT NOSPAMvhmzov dot com

08/31/2011 9:02 PM

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

|nzsuhqfqvdAT NOSPAMdohoyi dot com

08/31/2011 9:03 PM

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

|jhrnzyxqllAT NOSPAMbxrctd dot com

08/31/2011 9:04 PM

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

|tnhuxnkzwxAT NOSPAMihozxs dot com

08/31/2011 9:05 PM

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

|nkrlkxxhgnAT NOSPAMhnffow dot com

08/31/2011 9:05 PM

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

|vznvxnlxqoAT NOSPAMiwzcxd dot com

08/31/2011 9:07 PM

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

|cubsaixjulAT NOSPAMqwcgfd dot com

08/31/2011 9:08 PM

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

|nurwdgtzwzAT NOSPAMynlpel dot com

08/31/2011 9:15 PM

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

|llbacyofmiAT NOSPAMklxdfq dot com

08/31/2011 9:24 PM

In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

|kuvlyirhjwAT NOSPAMhnvunm dot com

08/31/2011 9:30 PM

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

|pbyqhspjwaAT NOSPAMjbeher dot com

08/31/2011 9:31 PM

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

|gkhpjmfjfqAT NOSPAMksicla dot com

08/31/2011 9:34 PM

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

|bkeinvccmhAT NOSPAMtajkvh dot com

08/31/2011 9:40 PM

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

|aycnogyefoAT NOSPAMxzrutt dot com

08/31/2011 9:43 PM

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

|uavpwuyuvyAT NOSPAMhwwetg dot com

08/31/2011 9:44 PM

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

|dqpsircbfqAT NOSPAMbqsnvk dot com

08/31/2011 9:45 PM

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

|efjnbdrysaAT NOSPAMitobkm dot com

08/31/2011 9:47 PM

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

|hhznpmpozpAT NOSPAMtogsar dot com

08/31/2011 9:48 PM

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

|vbnpzvkluzAT NOSPAMjbvsgn dot com

08/31/2011 9:49 PM

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

|geaeftyqwyAT NOSPAMbwuenx dot com

08/31/2011 9:56 PM

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

|ydjiijnbcdAT NOSPAMlcpicj dot com

08/31/2011 9:57 PM

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

|dagnpmtcpkAT NOSPAMoztero dot com

08/31/2011 10:01 PM

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

|axvzriovsfAT NOSPAMoumfjv dot com

08/31/2011 10:04 PM

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

|jhsvsjcdhdAT NOSPAMyujbpr dot com

08/31/2011 10:19 PM

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

|jtbkkfifcpAT NOSPAMigxhzl dot com

08/31/2011 10:22 PM

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

|lqzcinkcukAT NOSPAMaayurz dot com

08/31/2011 10:23 PM

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

|mchpanalxfAT NOSPAMbwzzjx dot com

08/31/2011 10:25 PM

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

|qvmbjbnieeAT NOSPAMyxqyix dot com

08/31/2011 10:25 PM

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

|bocpphhxmkAT NOSPAMwzvbja dot com

08/31/2011 10:26 PM

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

|fffdaorvbzAT NOSPAMrpdlkn dot com

08/31/2011 10:28 PM

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

|mvcorwgmglAT NOSPAMkxklok dot com

08/31/2011 10:31 PM

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

|unklbvcosdAT NOSPAMeylrwe dot com

08/31/2011 10:31 PM

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

|qbdchqdpxgAT NOSPAMvbpfla dot com

08/31/2011 10:33 PM

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

|kwneiyxlmgAT NOSPAMmvcjee dot com

08/31/2011 10:38 PM

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

|dtakkgdotzAT NOSPAMnoxrdx dot com

08/31/2011 10:44 PM

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

|jqwkhbfvcxAT NOSPAMlrcevh dot com

08/31/2011 10:46 PM

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

|xkdydlrpvgAT NOSPAMhzsjbv dot com

08/31/2011 10:48 PM

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

|uwhfvnkouqAT NOSPAMsaoueh dot com

08/31/2011 10:48 PM

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

|qhhcqxqrfrAT NOSPAMvfyslp dot com

08/31/2011 10:58 PM

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

|lrdfnutklbAT NOSPAMmxrjsp dot com

08/31/2011 11:03 PM

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

|cssvldsussAT NOSPAMbesrhv dot com

08/31/2011 11:09 PM

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

|iuyzlcjstbAT NOSPAMfvaljy dot com

08/31/2011 11:11 PM

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

|bguwmpecqyAT NOSPAMxvvuyz dot com

08/31/2011 11:12 PM

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

|fitguvullbAT NOSPAMbutqbi dot com

08/31/2011 11:13 PM

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

|kpwkjwxkgmAT NOSPAMxcvokm dot com

08/31/2011 11:14 PM

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

|jdpwustihkAT NOSPAMeotlvi dot com

08/31/2011 11:14 PM

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

|vgzqcfzpzqAT NOSPAMzrfqqc dot com

08/31/2011 11:16 PM

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

|uhwhzgpvmkAT NOSPAMoyhryw dot com

08/31/2011 11:18 PM

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

|dnxydsatlnAT NOSPAMpbekvs dot com

08/31/2011 11:32 PM

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

|vfxockkwiyAT NOSPAMqcroyh dot com

08/31/2011 11:32 PM

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

|zsmgkbedepAT NOSPAMmzhjpj dot com

08/31/2011 11:33 PM

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

|hsiifzwdqrAT NOSPAMcvzjbb dot com

08/31/2011 11:36 PM

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

|hqnsutiqrrAT NOSPAMwqebnp dot com

08/31/2011 11:40 PM

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

|jutiwtjznqAT NOSPAMmnpjgl dot com

08/31/2011 11:40 PM

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

|ooplvcyawwAT NOSPAMruzise dot com

08/31/2011 11:43 PM

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

|gfonysdscpAT NOSPAMkxpswi dot com

08/31/2011 11:49 PM

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

|rauzvdifvdAT NOSPAMcdmppk dot com

08/31/2011 11:54 PM

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

|qdgfgvaexgAT NOSPAMwljgzt dot com

08/31/2011 11:56 PM

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

|yclqgwehplAT NOSPAMtnhtlu dot com

09/01/2011 12:00 AM

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

|xvxecxktbtAT NOSPAMrpfahg dot com

09/01/2011 12:02 AM

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

|syqboobkzbAT NOSPAMpbylfj dot com

09/01/2011 12:03 AM

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

|yrmzjrxjwqAT NOSPAMacjpie dot com

09/01/2011 12:03 AM

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

|yrmzjrxjwqAT NOSPAMacjpie dot com

09/01/2011 12:04 AM

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

|kybmbwbnsxAT NOSPAMvwxymo dot com

09/01/2011 12:06 AM

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

|mgarlidcagAT NOSPAMbrsjzq dot com

09/01/2011 12:06 AM

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

|befaxouosoAT NOSPAMhwdlqe dot com

09/01/2011 12:06 AM

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

|glfatojrvrAT NOSPAMfjysha dot com

09/01/2011 12:15 AM

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

|iigboesnrmAT NOSPAMoeerav dot com

09/01/2011 12:15 AM

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

|ehejdasjjdAT NOSPAMzlixeg dot com

09/01/2011 12:18 AM

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

|oavyibcqjbAT NOSPAMhdbbxf dot com

09/01/2011 12:22 AM

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

|ysiuvgojmpAT NOSPAMxbvkiv dot com

09/01/2011 12:29 AM

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

|vqcyvedqlsAT NOSPAMqozsdm dot com

09/01/2011 12:31 AM

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

|ngeborvtwvAT NOSPAMdfwinu dot com

09/01/2011 12:32 AM

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

|wmhoiqqqiiAT NOSPAMjeiugq dot com

09/01/2011 12:36 AM

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

|privfzkaewAT NOSPAMhgcdvl dot com

09/01/2011 12:41 AM

Men have become the tools of their tools.

|cvyiqzflsjAT NOSPAMzkdbdk dot com

09/01/2011 12:42 AM

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

|yaecjytxcbAT NOSPAMkicfbw dot com

09/01/2011 12:46 AM

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

|tmcvcsrurwAT NOSPAMrograd dot com

09/01/2011 12:47 AM

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

|hrqixhgqjjAT NOSPAMgxhjxv dot com

09/01/2011 12:52 AM

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

|jgpxxkyquuAT NOSPAMrqovkx dot com

09/01/2011 12:55 AM

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

|czuntqvnauAT NOSPAMtudrzi dot com

09/01/2011 12:57 AM

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

|tnvcvctykvAT NOSPAMkbczxc dot com

09/01/2011 12:58 AM

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

|dxjvkctthzAT NOSPAMsydhdg dot com

09/01/2011 1:01 AM

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

|ubpkygsjdrAT NOSPAMhtjasd dot com

09/01/2011 1:02 AM

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

|mzsfnvsjqmAT NOSPAMvtrwxo dot com

09/01/2011 1:09 AM

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

|jyjnnniddiAT NOSPAMfemmqj dot com

09/01/2011 1:10 AM

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

|cotndftktqAT NOSPAMvwznjh dot com

09/01/2011 1:15 AM

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

|evrquxsaaxAT NOSPAMdqgjrk dot com

09/01/2011 1:15 AM

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

|evrquxsaaxAT NOSPAMdqgjrk dot com

09/01/2011 1:16 AM

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

|evrquxsaaxAT NOSPAMdqgjrk dot com

09/01/2011 1:19 AM

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

|kylqodplyoAT NOSPAMaetxxk dot com

09/01/2011 1:19 AM

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

|